With everything happening in the world right now, it can feel a bit (read, a lot) like an emotional roller coaster... Even as I sit to write this, I am stunned by the fact that it has been nearly six months since I last managed to more formally touch base. I have thoughts streaming about what I'd like to do, to write, and to share, but my day to day reality affords few windows to do so. As such, I will try to pack it in...
Like everyone else, COVID-19 has uprooted the way I pictured this year would be going. It is strange, and if it weren't so intense, perhaps comical, how drastically different things are from what I envisioned. I have recently recognized the current situation will further delay my return to work. While my babe has reached his one year milestone, my home continues to host a school pod. I had considered that fall may be a good transition point, but for now, I know my gut is to keep my babe home. This means I am choosing to wait for work. It is not an easy choice, and one that I have some trepidation about sharing. I know hearing my choice may have an impact on you, clients and colleagues, whom I care about. All the feels...
This is not the world I imagined, and that, along with the atrocities we continue to be bombarded with, is a lot. Thank you to all who have connected to ask about my family in India. We are lucky no one close has been lost to the virus. However, tension is high and the need for help is real. If you are able and feel inclined, I have first hand experience with the charitable organization Ekal Vidyala, which works in very remote regions of India. In my research, Oxfam Canada, Unicef, and Red Cross are also all sound options. Yesterday, my dad reminded me it takes thousands of drops to fill a bucket, including simply telling others about the need which exists. A good reminder to be a vessel of care, as I was feeling my contribution would be too miniscule to matter.
The intense struggles of today’s world have been extremely overwhelming. The need to stay mindful of day to day moments of beauty and peace seems even more necessary. I have been creating pockets of joy with my family... my older son and I have taken our love for plants to a new level. We have enjoyed a few trips to Botaniful and developed a sense of being in our own 'club' as we share our hobby with others via photos, video calls, and even trading some plants we are propagating! As a family, each week we tune into WendyMac, illustrator and social worker (!) for Draw Together, the creative, current day counterpart to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. We regularly spend time outside in the ravine. We are healthy and I am so very grateful for all I have. Still, there are days where my grief and loss is palpable.
Hence why this week, I want to introduce you to Abby VanMuijen's Emotion Wheel. I am always toting the importance of allowing all our feelings, but sometimes, especially this past year, it is hard to find the words. I came across Abby's wheel, and accompanying worksheet, online and felt the need to connect with her and share with you. She graciously provides her graphic download on her website, and took the time to chat with me on Zoom to share some insights into her wheel’s development and use.
Abby, how did you end up creating your emotion wheel?
I came across the wheel of emotions the first time during a storyboarding class. I loved the visual, colour coded, chart and organization right away. A few years later, my therapist brought out the wheel during a session and my designer brain thought it could use an artistic reboot. I’ve wanted to make my own for a long time.
I ended up creating my version in the early days of Covid, so it was interesting to pull language and words that were up in the news and general conversations about how people were feeling in a very globally emotional time. The wheel is an evolving thing. I have so many versions and still at the forefront use it as a tool for myself, adding words that most resonate with me and help give language to my emotional experience.
What do you feel sets aside your wheel from others?
I could talk about all that went into the design of this wheel for a LONG time, but to name a few... Number one, I think it’s more artful than other wheels I’ve seen. The watercolour texture was an intentional choice meant to reflect how feelings blend into one another and are somewhat uncontrollable.
I also tried to be very thoughtful and provocative when thinking about what the core emotions are (I’ve added ‘genius,’ which is not on other wheels), as well as which colour each wedge is and which emotions go in which wedge and in which order. I organized them based on how in my experience, they show up in the body. The other thing that is cool about it is the orientation of the wheel. The warm colours (yellow, orange, red) are more in action, they say you’re ready to do something. The cooler colours (green, purple, blue) are more showing the need to slow down and pay attention.
The wipeability of the wheel and the worksheets I’ve made it into are also unique… when you can circle all of the words you’re feeling at the same time, you’re learning words to name your emotions, but you’re also creating a visual depiction of that emotional experience that can be helpful to more deeply understand it and also to share it with someone else.
Why did it feel important for you to freely share this work on your website?
I am a white person with white and financial privileges. Therapy is expensive and a hard to obtain resource for most people without (and even with) those privileges. This graphic wouldn’t exist had I not been in therapy myself so, it felt like an important way to redistribute and share some of the learnings and knowledge I have been afforded.
Can you comment on the use of art and creativity to manage emotions, especially for folks who don’t consider themselves artistic?
Yes, of course. I have only been thinking intentionally about my emotions the last couple of years while I’ve been in therapy. But, I realized that art has always been a way I coped with life. I formally learned to draw in college, and learned that it was another layer of language I could use to express myself. It was especially useful for the abstract feeling world.
Professionally I am a graphic recorder and illustrator, so it is my job to capture verbal and written language and translate it into visual language. Visual language helps make abstract concepts more concrete and helps folks to get on the same page about what it is they’re talking about. Feelings and everything that goes with them are abstract and hard to explain, and it’s easy to misinterpret someone when they’re only using verbal language to talk about how they’re feeling. So, having some sort of visual, or colour code, along with a way to locate or visualize where the feelings show up in your body makes it that much easier for another person to see what you’re feeling in a more concrete way.
For folks who don’t consider themselves artists or drawers, mostly I would say it takes time and practice to get comfortable with anything, but it’s worth it! For me it is so helpful to draw something and show it to my friend, or my therapist. It just adds another layer of language for people to see what you’re experiencing. It doesn’t need to look pretty for someone to take something away from what you created, it just adds depth to the verbal language you’re using.
Is there anything else you'd like to share? How has making the wheel impacted you?
I have loved connecting with new folks from the internet about the wheel-- all sorts of parents, social workers, therapists, teachers, etc. have reached out just to say that they appreciate it, or give feedback & ideas-- that doesn’t generally happen for me as an artist. It has been really fun to learn more about how to make the wheel better and more useful to more people. There is so much more I am excited to work on and build on this project-- it feels like the very beginnings of a lifetime of work for me… I’m working on a digital version, a kids version… so much fun to be had!
The digital one on my website is just in its infancy of being able to see and track what has been going on in your emotional landscape over time. The digital tools for emotion tracking that are available right now are very linear and give you like five emojis to track with. So, I’m very interested in making something more artful and interesting and then using that not only with individuals, but with groups of people, a team, a city, a family, etc… You could see sort of an emotional snapshot of a group you are a part of.
I am also learning a lot about each of the words written on the wheel and how they show up for people. The other thing I am working on is translating the wheel into other languages. This is especially interesting because the verbal translation of a word is not necessarily the translated emotional energy… so there’s an element of determining if it is in the right colour section of the wheel and/or right location for another language and culture. Then, there would be an ability to understand what people are experiencing regardless of language....
It was such a pleasure to chat with Abby, who responded to my random request and took the time to connect online. A gift the internet gave me. Thanks so much Abby for your time, talent and sharing this needed resource with the world!
It is my hope Abby's wheel can help you slow down and connect with yourself and your emotions, even the ones that just bubbled up from reading this... I look forward to the day I am back in my office and can hand you a pillow with Abby's wheel as we hold all your emotions together. Until then, I look forward to staying connected in the virtual world.
With care,
Deepika