I would like to start by sharing, I am not an expert. I have been witnessing world events and debating whether I should comment, share, add my voice... As I sat with those questions over time, and listened to my body, the impulse to write grew louder.
Growing up as a person of colour in rural Alberta, it likely is not surprising that I experienced racism. However, it was only on a trip to India, at age nine, that I fully recognized I didn't look like the majority when I was home in Canada. To be honest, it was a slightly disorienting experience. I had never really noticed that I didn't visually fit in. In India, it was people of white skin who stood out. This gave me a lens to notice how many times I had been discriminated against because of my skin colour. While I can still explicitly recall the hurt, fear, confusion and anger of those moments, I also recognize how insulated I was.
I was protected. I came from a loving home, with educated parents, who had good jobs. They were involved in the community, and, despite their own experiences of discrimination, overall they were respected. They also used their voices to advocate for respect and equality through active involvement in groups such as the multicultural society. I thought I understood racism and other types of discrimination.
When I started my social work education, I began to see how naive I had been. My understanding of racism had been limited to individual interactions. I had failed to grasp the impact of systemic discrimination. I began to understand that systems are built to serve those who made them. Layers upon layers of dismantling is required to undo the discrimination that is inherently, and often subconsciously, there. This challenge is not only in America, it is here, often closer to home than we think.
Current world affairs are intense and important. I have struggled with how to contribute because a blacked out square on Instagram has not felt sufficient. While it can be overwhelming to know where to begin, I am reminded that there is work to do in our own lives. It often takes making space, learning and hard conversations. Here are a few ideas:
Don't speak or allow discriminatory comments. Gently call people out when they intentionally, or inadvertently, use hurtful language. In my experience, sometimes people don't even know what they are saying is hurtful. They have never thought about it, and have not learned. I'll admit, sometimes my teaching in this arena has irritated people, or had them say things about my personality. But honestly, I can take it. While incomplete, the list that follows will give an idea of the type of comments I intercept due to inherent discriminatory heritage: "that's gay", "it was a gong show", "they're Chincy", "retarded", "I'm going crazy", "Paki"....
Have conversations at home, even with your little ones. Of course it is important to share things in an age appropriate manner. I am grateful that there are way, way more resources today then there were when I was a kid. Books are my companion and this past week, kidlet and I revisited "I am Rosa Parks" and "I am Harriet Tubman" by Brad Meltzer. To add some present day context, we also listened to Keedron Bryant sing his mom's song, "I Just Wanna Live" (we did not discuss extreme violence or police brutality as kiddo is too young. I recognize my privilege in having a choice not to have to share that with him).
Use people's actual names, even if it is hard to pronounce. Put in the energy and effort. I would way rather teach someone (repeatedly) how to say my name, then have them ask if they can just call me "Dee" as my name is too hard.
Don’t talk to an immigrant with an accent like they are less than. English is likely their second, or third language... plus most of us have some difficulty communicating in our first language sometimes. Be patient, listen, and slow yourself down.
Rent your home or give a job or support the business of a marginalized person if they are an appropriate candidate. Look at the person in front of you and ensure you are not grouping them into a category (i.e. lazy, difficult, unreliable) in your mind due to their ethnicity, sexual preferences, gender, etc.
Spend time and make friends with people who don’t look or think like you. Listen and learn from them. What better way to role model for kids.
Look into your own heart and see what prejudices lie there. As a social worker, I have been taught self reflection is key to knowing which populations I can and cannot rightly work with. It is okay to have areas where my heart needs opening, and I must commit to doing the work to have it expand.
Heartfelt gratitude to my friend Elizabeth Schellenberg for her support, and for allowing me to share and expand upon helpful tips she posted.
Huge thanks to my friend Amanda Schutz for sharing the beautiful graphic above, and for reminding me that my voice and my story matter.